Lenten Lessons

I gave up anger for Lent. Or at least I tried to.

In the past I've given up things like sweets or alcohol or the internet; things that were pretty clear cut. Going into Lent this year, I didn't have a specific plan for how I was going to deal with my anger, just a rule that I was not allowed to get angry. I had to find some other way to handle what I was feeling.

I quickly learned that there are many shades of anger, and some were harder to resist than others. For me, anger that was really fear (like road rage) was easier to resist than anger that was really fatigue, or lack of control. And what about good anger, the kind that leads us to campaign for social justice and to protect others? Should that be ignored, too?

On really difficult days, I noticed that I collected things to be angry about. First I forgot my bag, and then it was pouring rain, and then traffic was bad, and the kids were making too much noise, and on and on. And the more I looked, the easier it was to find things to be angry about.

But I also found that if I tried collecting reasons to be thankful, it was pretty easy to compile those lists, too. If I hadn't forgotten my bag, I wouldn't have realized that I'd forgotten my hat too. Yes it's pouring rain, but doesn't it smell wonderful, and don't I love watching it on the windshield? The kids are noisy because they are making each other giggle, and isn't that a good thing to hear?

Now I wasn't always great at this. I failed at this Lenten challenge like I've failed at no other, and there were days where I was overwhelmed and snapped at everybody and got in a terrible funk. I'm not proud of how I handled those times.

But I learned that I could control my reactions, much more than I'd previously thought. On those long hard days when nobody was coming to help and I just had to deal, I could "hit the reset button" and stop collecting reasons to be angry. Sometimes the reset button was a walk around the neighborhood, sometimes it was trying on ridiculous wigs with the kids, sometimes it was taking time to clean the kitchen so one part of my life was orderly again. But I learned that a bad day could be stopped, and that anger didn't have to beget anger.

The Reverend Rob Merola recently preached a great sermon titled "Going Through No to Get to Yes". And I think that by saying no to anger, I was able to say yes to so many more moments of wonder and happiness. And if that helped to make just one other person's day a bit better, then it was a worthwhile effort indeed.