How to Keep Your Pants Dry

How to keep your pants dry is you pee in the potty and you poop in the potty .

Love,
bet tsy

Gardening With Grandma

Betsy and my mom, working together in Mom's garden.

All Staff Memo

Dear Colleagues and Fellow Building Residents,

It has come to my attention that there are several issues that need to be addressed.

1. Please do not pee on anything that is not a designated place to pee. Items off-limits but recently used as a venue for urination include the high chair, clean laundry, and my shoes. Anyone caught urinating in an unapproved place will have to wear the Hat of Shame for the rest of the day. This includes you, cats.

2. Barring extreme circumstances, I will give each of you ONE (1) bath per day. So before you coat yourself in a substance, think long and hard about whether you want to be wearing that until tomorrow/until we go to the pool.

3. I understand that my hair looks sad, but please consult me before adding watermelon or mashed potato to my locks. I really don't think they're helping. If I am going to wear your lunch, however, I do prefer the pre-digested version to the post-digested.

4. If you request an item of food, and I procure, prepare, and serve that exact item of food, you have lost the right to complain about it.

5. Toothpaste is for tooth brushing ONLY.

That is all.

Ten Loves (#10: Eating What We Grow)

In honor of the last ten days until (or somewhat soon after) graduation, ten things for which I am super thankful.

#1: Family
#2: Doodling
#3: The Farmers' Market
#4: Thursday Afternoon Playdates
#5: Graduation Bingo
#6: Party Preparation
#7: Discovering the Sweetness
#8: Sewing Together
#9: Playing Dress Up

#10: Eating What We Grow

A few months ago I wrote about our past attempts at container gardening, and the fruits of our labor (or lack thereof). I wrote how I hoped to beat last year's record harvest of three tomatoes.

Well, so far this year's tomato crop looks promising, but what we're really enjoying at the moment is lettuce. We may not have a whole garden full, but this little window box has been providing more than enough for side salads and sandwich toppings, with plenty left over for Abigail to snag and munch on while she "helps" me water the plants each morning. What a treat!

Baby Girl at Ten Months

I've been writing a lot about the big girl lately, but Abigail is doing a lot of fun new things, too. At ten months, she's spends her days:

Having picnics. She loves to eat watermelon! And she loves to be with her mama.

Climbing on everything. Why just look at Grandma and Grandpa's books when you can really get into them? She also climbs stairs, stepstools, and into the bathtub. She takes every plastic container out of the kitchen drawer and climbs into the drawer.

Helping Betsy learn to ride her bike, with cheers of "Ella!" and "Mama!" and "Daddy!" Plus the ever-popular Bloodcurdling Scream of Glee/Frustration/Boredom.

Napping. She's such a sweet and cuddly thing, and she does love her Daddy. While he's at work she goes looking for him, crawling into different rooms asking, "Daddy? Daddy?"

Exploring everything outside, and working very hard on walking. She's almost there!

Spending some more quality time with books. It's quite fun to pull them all off the shelves and use them to play peek-a-book. She's a funny girl, especially when she has an audience.

Things I Wish I Could Give to You for Father's Day

To my darling husband Matthew, most excellent father to our children, a small sampling of what I would give to you today, if I could:

Replacements for all the home items lost this year, including but not limited to the wooden salad bowl (multiple dishwasher incidents), the white dress shirt (the flipping incident), the car washing bucket (the Christmas cement incident), and the coffee pot (the my large bottom in the kitchen incident).

Self-feeding, self-scooping cats. Ones that do not pee on our shoes during the night, yet are still masterful at catching crickets, and who enjoy cuddling and long walks on the beach.

A garage filled with power tools, and time to use them. There would be a whole radio nook. It would have heat and a/c and a triathlon training area, where you could ride a stationary bike and use power tools or play radios at the same time so you wouldn't get bored. Yet, miraculously, the kids would never be tempted to do anything dangerous in this garage.

A lake house with a couple of kayaks. Far enough away to be peaceful, yet an easy, no-traffic drive from home.

Down the street from the lake house, a winery. Of course you would make friends with the owners and rig up their sound and lighting system, and in exchange you'd get free wine forever.

Down the street from the winery, a theatre, where you could dabble to your artistic heart's content, but the schedule would be totally flexible with your day job. The kids and I would star in the shows, and we would all be awesome.

Sleeping in. Just in general. And this would be okay with everyone; me, the kids, work. And when you wake up, you'd have your breakfast choice of pancakes, omelet filled with veggies, amazing handmade sausages or all three.

A Father's Day card covered in so much glitter that it likely won't be dry until next Father's Day.

Two girls and a wife who just adore you and thank you for being a great dad.

With much love,
Becca

Chipmunk Cucuface Dragon

by Betsy

Once upon a time me and my mommy found a chipmunk outside the kitchen. He lives in a little hole in the mulch. He popped his little head out so I named him Poppy. We gave him sunflower seeds. He has black and white stripes and his body is brown. He is little. He is not a skunk. I watched him by being in the house and staying still like a statue. I love him so much.

Once upon a time I found a little dragon with my kids at the park. And he flied down to us and we named him Custard because he loved mustard sandwiches. He eats everything that likes to eat little people. A little duckling found the dragon because it was lost. It didn't have a nest. And then my friend Cucuface came out and found the duckling. The end.

Ed. note: Only one of these is true. Can you tell which?